The Blogger Tells All

Tonight, I rushed work, cut my workout short, and forwent grocery shopping to watch, always the thriller, The Bachelor. I thought the final rose was to be presented and so would begin another infinite journey of love and friendship. Unfortunately, I was duped and ABC proves yet again their knack at prolonging the inevitable when Sean chooses Catherine and tells AshLee she is too old and Lindsay she is too dumb.

After three cheese sticks, 2 lbs of grapes, and 10 nut clusters, I exhausted my alarmingly scarce fridge provisions just at the conclusion of tonight’s airing of The Bachelor and infuriatingly discovered there were two more episodes left (how could I forget The Women Tell All?). Needless to say, it wasn’t all for naught, as I’ve developed some opinions and noted a few items worth blogging about.

1. The Bachelor alarmingly felt like an MTV popup video with incessant tweets flashing across my tv screen. If Polly from Alabama feels she’d make beautiful babies with Sean, then blog about it like a decent human being because I need to watch the robotic AshLee become a stage 5 clinger and get voted off the island.
2. Did I hear Sean mention Lindsay as his emotional and mental inferior? Someone please review the tape and get back to me. 
3. Can the ladies get off their soapboxes about the fantasy suite? For the greater good, sacrifices must be made. You’re not blowing some stranger outside the Kum ‘n Go and you’re not a heroine from a Jane Austen novel, you’re a reality star… Don’t waste your 10 minutes of fame. The rest of the single woman populace doesn’t fantasize about sitting up all night discussing feelings with a man that has a six-pack… and it is the fantasy suite after all.
4. Is Catherine seriously trying to evoke pity? She was told she was chubby and ate too much? Please, do you think I’m so funny because I’m good-looking? Thanks for playing.

In conclusion, don’t bother calling me the next two Monday nights.